The Unworthy Art Therapist

I thought I'd take a beat to talk about the title I've given myself. The Unworthy Art Therapist. Some people might view that as being quite self-deprecating or derogatory but it's not. It is akin to the term the wounded healer.

The wounded healer is strong and courageous. The wounded healer knows they can help others through their own wounds. A wounded healer knows they do not have to be wholly unwounded to help, to serve, to guide, to hold space for others wounds. The wounded healer knows they are more capable of witnessing others wounds because they have their own. The wounded healer knows what it is to have a wound and so can be more empathic toward those who seek them out for healing.

In the same way, I am the Unworthy Art Therapist. Not to say I am unworthy, for I know I am not. I know I am worthy of love, acceptance, kindness and all that life has to offer. I know I am worthy of being treated kindly. I know I am worthy of offering art therapy to those in need. I know I am worthy of holding therapeutic space and offering therapeutic tools to those who seek it from me. Even though some nights, deep in the depths of my being I have a beast that whispers, that tears, that renders me unworthy, I know it speaks not of truths but of falsehoods that have been fed to me by those who were supposed to love me and support me. However, this beast that dwells inside me is why I am capable of witnessing other people's struggle with self-worth. I come from a place of having spent most of my life feeling unworthy, being told by others that I am unworthy or having others leave me feeling like I have no worth. I come through that veil though knowing that even when I am feeling unworthy, I am worthy. I know that seems paradoxical and it is, which is fine but what I'm getting at is, even when I am feeling unworthy, I still have worth.

My feeling of unworthiness does not define me and does not take away from the fact that I have worth. From this, I can hold space for others who feel unworthy. I can witness their journey, their pain, their process as they travel along to discover they are, indeed, worthy after all.

So essentially, In Lak'ech. The shadowy part that holds my unworthiness sees the shadowy part that holds your unworthiness and I honour you. I honour your journey without judgment but with deep lived understanding. I also honour the shiny part that holds my own and your worthiness. We are worthy.