Bracelet, Bloodbowl and Keto

 Today I finished my bracelet. I need to do something else about the clasp but I'm not sure what but it will do for now. I don't think I can wear it all the time like I did when it was leather but at least I don't have to never wear it again.

Today is my one true day off a week. Even so I still did uni work. It's the high-achiever in me. Also I know the more I do now the better off Future Samm will be. Plus, the sooner I get my research proposal written, the sooner I get to start reading about my next subject - Voice and Sound, which I'm both terrified of and very excited for but more of that in future posts no doubt.

I did get some art in today though, I'm working on a canvas. I've had this need to work with pentacles since WitchCamp so I'm doing another pentacle painting. It's not quite done yet and the paint I'm using is being put on super thick because apparent that's how I love to paint. What that means is, it takes FOREVER for each layer to dry before I work on the next layer! Which is kind of a bummer but I like the end result, so I didn't art as much as I would have liked to. Instead, I finished wrapping of above bracelet and then went to a friends and played our fortnightly BloodBowl game.

What is BloodBowl you ask? Why it's a (nerd-alert!) tabletop fantasy board game played with miniatures and is essentially a very brutal football game where you bash each other up and try to score. Killing is always a bonus! Some teams are more brutal than others.

Typical fantasy-style the teams are made up of races like the Orcs, Halflings, Goblins, Dark Elves, High Elves, Wood Elves, Chaos Demons, Dwarves and more. Of course, my son, his father and I, being the people we are, like to make-up our own rules and create our own teams, so this league we have a few teams we created ourselves, such as I made up a team of Dark Crystal characters, while The Father created a Labyrinth team. The Son went ahead and created a team entirely his own not even based on tv, movie or computer game characters - it's the game designer in him.

We don't have as many miniatures as we would like unfortunately and definitely don't have enough to match our teams but we make do with what we have.

In that photo on the right-hand side of the field from top to bottom we have a row of Skaven (rat creatures), a row of Chaos beasts and then the three big guys who are basically giants.

Tonight The Son and I finished off the 2nd half of a game we had going. His Blood Mages (the one completely of his own creation) v Dark Crystal. Normally, you start a half with 11 players on the field but he slaughtered me pretty good in the first half so I only actually started with 5 players on the field. I felt a little inadequate! Unfortunately, we were playing in blizzard conditions - yeap, you roll on the weather chart to see what the weather is like and in a blizzard you lose 3 movement, you can only pass the ball over 3 of those little squares and if you want to try to move an extra space once your movement runs out you can 'go-for-it' on the roll of a 5 or more on a 6-sided dice (so your chances of making that are slim), normally a go-for-it is a roll of 2 or more. So I didn't really have any hope of winning this match. Now, I am competitive but when it comes to BloodBowl I mostly just play for the quality time I get with The Son (he's 21 so that time is going to get less and less from here on out and I will cherish every second I get) and also because The Father cooks me dinner on BloodBowl night and I am certainly not going to pass up having dinner paid and cooked for me and I don't have to do the dishes either! It doesn't get better than that! Plus, The Father is a good cook who really enjoys cooking. He also enjoys experimenting and trying new things, which isn't always a win but again, I'm not gonna pass that up, I will try most things at least once.

I am morbidly obese and have so much shame around how I have treated my body. There have been a number of causes that have led me to be this way and I'm finally coming out from under a lot of them. Unfortunately, it's not so easy to lose weight and it's not so easy to break out of the addiction to things like sugar. I love keto, when I can do it. I love all the foods in the keto diet and I would very happily go full-blown keto if 1) I actually liked cooking (I do not) and 2) I actually had the strength to say no to sugar (I do not). I am getting better though. I have no had any bread, doughnuts, cookies, ice cream, crisps, carbonated beverages or take-out (other than doner kebabs) so far this year! That's pretty huge for me! That's 4 months without any coke-cola which I love and wish I didn't. I've cut way back on pasta and potato but chocolate, holy lordy wordy chocolate, and slurpees. I have been having way too many slurpees lately. Interestingly, I don't know what shifted but today is day 2 without chocolate or slurpees. I have zero faith that will last.

Anyway, while that seems like a tangent, back to BloodBowl night. The Father knows I am choosing not to eat certain foods and he has been willing to prepare keto meals for me, so I can see if they might be something I can add to menu. Tonight, he made keto cottage pie and oh my goodness it was SO GOOD!

It didn't take that long to prepare and it tasted so good! I could barely tell that was mashed cauliflower instead of potato. It could be a good thing that I love cauliflower though. Apparently, he mashed it with cream cheese. It was SO GOOD! It seems quite quick and easy to make too so this is definitely something I will continue to make for myself. I was so, so impressed with the mashed cauliflower. However, I don't think I can trick my Young One's into eating it. I might give it a go though cause the youngest hates potato, so maybe he would be more likely to eat this!

I'm not pushing myself hard with this change of diet though. Because I don't want to go 'on' a diet. I want to completely alter my diet. I want to change it in such a way that it becomes my usual way of eating. I want a lifestyle change. I plan to do that one meal at a time. So this meal will now be added for the rest of my life. I hope one day I do lose weight but despite my four months of no bread and other crap, I still haven't lost a single kilo of weight so I hold no hope right now. Not unless I can continue to not eat chocolate and not drink slurpees. Baby steps though. One day at a time. Sometimes one moment at a time. It can be difficult for me to say no sometimes. Going grocery shopping is a constant war in my head. The Inner Child crying and stomping her feet for the yummy foods that I wish I hated while the Inner Parent is trying to stay strict with this constant mantra of No, No, No, No, No, the whole time even though the Inner Parent wants to say Yes. It's exhausting. Food is exhausting. I wish I didn't have to think about, prepare or eat food even though I love food. Life would be easier if I could just go cold turkey like I did when I gave up cigarettes 15 years ago. Alas, I am human though and I need food to survive. So baby steps. Taking one day at a time. Onward and upward!