The last ritual already?

Well, the last other than the closing ritual, which is the saddest ritual ever as we wrap up and shut down the circle we've been living in for days and we have to say our goodbyes. That's when you're at the point where you're grateful camp is done but at the same time you never want it to end.

I digress though, this post is about the last big ritual of camp. The theme has been Iron into Pearl and tonight, we fully moved into Pearl. I have never experienced the Pearl Pentacle and I'm still deeply entrenched in the Iron Pentacle so I actually found it quite challenging to allow the Pearl energies to run through me. The intent for the ritual was:

SPIRALLING THROUGH ALL THE WORLDS, EMBODYING POWER AND LIBERATION, LOVE IS RENEWED.

We did the usual, the circle was cast and instead of running the Iron Pentacle tonight, we ran the Pearl Pentacle, which has a really different energy. The two are really distinctly different. The Iron almost feels like molten lava coursing around and through the points, it feels harder, more purposeful, unyielding, unrelenting but Pearl, it was like a balm to a sunburn. It was soft, smooth, silken, milky, gentle. We went into a process where we were all spotlighted on Zoom to be sacredly witnessed. As each person was featured in the spotlight everyone chanted randomly and softly "Love is renewed". We were invited to say some words or a word or make a movement or just sit there to be witnessed.

Before the actual ritual, we always have what is called a Ritual Conspiracy, where we're given a bit of a heads up around what to expect and when they spoke about the spotlighting I could feel my whole body contract. I do not like being in the spotlight... ever. So I had all sorts of emotions brewing around inside me leading into the ritual. I decided, if I was to be brave and let myself be spotlighted, then I was going to paint my face dammit.

It feels a bit safer to be seen with my face paint on. I also decided to have my Monkey with me to shield me while I was there on the screen. It wasn't so bad in the end, not so confronting I guess with the face paint on and the Monkey in the way and seeing some witches smiling at me when I came on screen was nice. I did the Auslan sign for I Love You while I was on the screen. 

I don't know how many, if any, people knew what it meant or what it was but I definitely meant it. I barely know most of these witches but I've truly felt an almost overwhelming love for a lot of them these few days. When I showed up for ritual tonight and we were waiting for people to trickle in I was looking at the names on the screen and seeing how many people I recognise now and I love it. I love it so much. I am deeply hopeful I have found a community I can be part of. It's something I have yearned for my entire life to this point and I really do hope these are the ones. If only I could stop that ridiculous voice in my head that keeps telling me they're just tolerating you, none of these people like you or want you to be here, what you just said was stupid and they're all judging you for the stupid stuff you just shared. I'm sure none of that is actually true but that is how my mind likes to torture me.

Anyway, it wasn't so bad being spotlighted on the screen and then we all got to making loving noises in a great cacophony afterwards and then the circle was opened and we actually got an early night for once! It was good. A little sad yet filled up on Love, which is awesome.

LOVE IS RENEWED.